Most Men Fear This: Learn to Approach Women and Win.
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by: DarylDuke
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Have you ever wondered why so many female friends can recommend you as "great catch" but you have no girlfriend? You might be surprised to learn that most guys are afraid to approach women, and this plays a key role in why a lot of them are not only single, but lack the companionship they want. Often, these same guys may be very comfortable with women in general, but these women are usually introduced by friends, at social gatherings, and at work, so these situations don't really count because these instances aren't usually intended to land a woman in bed or bring her to the altar. For the doubters out there, consider that most of these guys, and you may be one of them, have plenty of female contacts who consider them great "friends" even though most of these are looking for companionship, not friendship.
Ask most of these single guys why they aren't dating someone and chances are they will tell you that they simply cannot approach women, particularly strangers. Okay, most will probably not admit to this because many don't know it themselves. As humans, we expect appreciation and we have been raised on fairy tales and romance, believing that we do not need to approach women because our true love, or women, will approach us... if we are worthy, of course.
Fact is, when it comes time to meeting new women, a lot of men fail. Their inner insecurities take control and help them create a list a mile long for why they should not approach women. These lists are lame as can be and will include things like: she must have a boyfriend/husband; there's no way she will talk to me, look at her; she probably gets hit on all the time, what shot do I have; I think have to go to the bathroom; and so on ad nauseum.
One theory out there suggests that we have been hard-wired to fear approaching women. This fear comes from our ancient ancestors who would have faced dire circumstances for approaching the wrong woman -- in some cases, they might have even died. To test the merits of this theory, consider adding a new chimp to an existing group of chimps. Notice how this new chimp, should he try to attract the female interest of the group, will be confronted. Since we typically do not seek out conflict, we opt instead to not approach women at all and decided instead to let love find us.
The problem with letting women find us is that, for the most part, they don't. If we want to find the right woman, we need to be more active in the search. See, while women's rights have clearly advanced politically, legally, and professionally, they haven't really advance socially. Think about dowries and arranged marriages for example. While they may not be as commonplace as they were a hundred years ago, they still exist and remain a vibrant aspect of many of today's cultures.
Most of us cannot rely on our family to hook us up with the type of women we dream of, so we have to do the arranging ourselves. And most women know that they are in the position of power when it comes to deciding whether to let us into their lives. They control whether we are rejected or accepted. They also know that once they let us in, they lose social control over their lives, voluntarily trading in their position as President and CEO for that of co-president and co-chair (at least insofar as their everyday lives are concerned)
The question becomes how do we win a woman's approval and convince her to accept us? The first step is that we must first learn how to comfortably and successfully approach women. After we realize and reprogram our values and beliefs that have been programmed into our head over thousands of years, we can then start seeking, approaching, and winning the true right woman.
Easier said than done, of course. And if you do manage to design a perfect way to approach women, having her accept you is just the first of several steps of a long-term relationship. Because after winning her, you will need to know how to keep her!
About the Author
Daryl Duke provides pro-bono advice and material to males who want to Find, Attract, and Keep The Right Woman. Be sure to read his Blog. This and other unique content 'approach women' articles are available with free reprint rights.
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